Not a year goes by where I, being a Pakistani-American Muslim, don’t get these questions at least once during Ramazan. At this point I stay pretty unfazed by weird questions that I get, so they’re always entertaining nevertheless. Here are a few of them:
1. “So you don’t eat for the entire month?”
The number of times I have had to explain the sun-up to sun-down regime is a number I can’t count on two hands anymore.
2. “Not even water?”
No Bethany, not even water…
3. “So you can’t make-out but can you give a high-five?”
As long as it doesn’t lead to anything more…
4. “Does it count if no one saw you eat or drink anything?”
Well God saw, so does it really matter if I ate or drank in private?
5. “Can I eat in front of you?”
I would like to think I have enough self-control that I can handle you eating and drinking around me. Just don’t force me to do so, and we’re good.
6. “At least you’ll lose weight, right?”
Ummm… Not really, especially when you’re stuffing your face with food right before you go to sleep.
7. “What do you do to stay in shape?”
Simple answer: nothing.
8. “You can at least chew gum, right?”
No, Susan. Gum still counts.
9. “Can you shower?”
The last time I showered, I don’t remember eating or drinking, so I can safely say you’re allowed to shower.
10. “Is fasting safe?”
I mean, Muslims have been doing it for thousands of years…
11. “Can you swallow your saliva?”
No. Muslims are expected to spit out their naturally-producing saliva every time it’s in their mouths or else their fast breaks.
Matlab, kuch bhi?
12. “Why do the dates change every year?”
Because the Islamic calendar works around the moon.
13. “So can you talk when you’re fasting?”
I’m speaking to you right now, what makes you think I can’t talk?
There ya have it. How often do you get these questions, if at all? Let me know about the weird things you’ve heard, too.
