Firstly, everyone knows, there are 2 major categories for Pakistanis in Canada – those who pronounce it: “KA-NA-DA”, and those who mispronounce it: “KE-NEY-DA”.

1. The T.O Student

I’m going to study abroad. I’m going to Canada. And obviously, I’m going to Toronto, and Toronto only, because my family, mother, father, brother, sister, uncle, aunty, cousin, random relative, or some friend of a friend from Pakistan, lives in Toronto / Mississauga. Fingers crossed – I’ve applied to University of Toronto, York and Ryerson – I’m bound to get in one! Can’t wait to major in Financial Computer Engineering with a minor in Medicinal Business, and participate in bhangra dance troupes. I ? T.O!

Source: Bhangra Dance Troupe / Tumblr

2. The Bulk Shopper

Usually, once a week, a family trip is made, no matter what the distance may be, across the city or the province, to visit the wholesome Pakistani Grocery Store, interact with fellow Pakistanis, gossip and catch up on politics and cricket, as well as satisfy all shopping needs – including halal meat, masala powders, basmati rices, Bollywood DVDs, as well as mitthai sweets, paan masalas, and let’s not forget Ding Dong bubble gum! And monthly trips to Costco are a must! BULK Discounts! FREE Tastings!

Source: Daddy Can’t Live Without Costco ? / Pinterest

3. The Pakistani Professional

Living in Canada – a Pakistani is most likely to seek out, contact, build relations, and be associated with a proud Pakistani descent Doctor saab, Lawyer jee, Realtor agent, Taxi/Uber driver, and such professionals. Benefits of such an association are obviously the discounted services, anytime contact, and an added Canadian attitude of professionalism with timely delivery of services.

4. The Cricket Fanatic

Set your alarm clocks, no matter what time the match is on, this Pakistani cricket fan wakes up to follow his/her team. With a sizeable Canadian diaspora of Pakistanis and Indians, there’s a healthy competition between both desi communities. Most notably, this rivalry was visibly evident on Valentine’s Day of 2015 in Toronto, when Pakistan and India played each other (in Australia) for the World Cup, and hundreds of die-hard fans turned up, and watched the match on the big screen at the Mississauga Hershey Centre. (Apologies to fellow Pakistanis for bringing up bitter memories).

Source: Shahid Boom-Boom-Out Afridi / Tumblr

5. The Coffee Addict

Oooo, that smooth, dark aromatic magic potion for the soul. It’s a morning ritual. And Tim Hortons, Starbucks or Second Cup are just starting points. It’s only a matter of time before you graduate to some serious gourmet shit! And for any coffee drinker, Pakistan has a wide selection of coffee-like products, but it’s JUST NOT THE SAME. (Stay strong, and reconnect with chai.)

 

 

 

 

 

Source: Pulp Fiction / Tumblr

6. The Weed Lover

Yes indeed, Canada loves weed. And everyone knows, Canadian marijuana is one of the most appreciated in the world – it’s also a healthier looking substitute to chars/hash (which let’s be honest many people smoke in Pakistan). Pakistani connoisseurs of the maryjane are a tight unit. One for all, and all for one. The ‘wolf pack’ sticks together, travels together, scores together, smokes together, watches shows together, and eats together. When munchies are at an all-time high, fikkar not, just head down to the nearest Hero Burger or Popeyes Chicken (both certified Halal). 

Source: Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle / Tumblr

7. The Experimental Foodie

Once this person gets over the constant requirement for chicken karhai/biryani and decides to try out other cuisines, they find such variety around town and thus begins the grand food experiment! Every week, a new and exciting eatery. Food selfies and #instafood are then shared across social media. Such exposure to a range of rich and varied dishes will permanently spoil this foodie’s taste buds (for the better).

Source: How I Met Your Mother / Tumblr

8. The Cinema Scheduler

Bollywood movies are a must with the entire family, anytime! It involves a lot of forward planning, advanced ticket booking, and going to the cinema way, way, way in advance in order to find and grab seating. First come, first serve. For those 2 to 3 hours, you forget that you’re even in Canada. There is the typical Uncle jee with his ringing alarm phone, an Aunty jee kicking and punching your chair, and an unnecessary need to bring a crying child into the cinema. But after a movie ends, depending on how good or bad it was, everyone shares a common love or hate for those shared hours.

Source: Tusshar Kapoor moves like Jagger / Tumblr

9. The Sports-Bar Fan

Any excuse to hit the bar with friends to watch some sports. After cricket, EPL soccer is most regularly followed, with Manchester United being an “automatic choice” for any naive Pakistani fan (just kidding), whilst Chelsea being a more “sophisticated choice” as the “special ones” (not kidding). American sports are not very popular amongst our Pakistanis, but NBA basketball hype and NFL football fervour is at an all-time peak during the playoffs, and especially for the Super Bowl. No joke – the Super Bowl is epic. And that’s it. A Pakistani fan of NHL ice-hockey is a rare breed, and MLB baseball fans are non-existent. There is a growing following for UFC fights, replacing past memories of WWF wrestling.

Source: UFC Fight Knockout! / Tumblr

10. The Party Clubber

It’s been a tough week of studying, working or job hunting. Come Friday and Saturday, the weekend plans are dedicated to blowing off steam, meeting up with friends, hitting up some club and dancing to the beats of Drake, The Weeknd, or Justin Bieber (all Canadian). OR on a special occasion, the party venue may be a desi wedding, mingling with aunties and uncle, teaching fellow non-desi friends how to “screw the lightbulb” and bhangra to the beats of Yo Yo Honey Singh (not Canadian)! Joh bhi ho, party zaroori hai.

Source: Drake & The Weeknd ? / Tumblr

11. The Binge Watcher

It’s winter time. Pakistanis aren’t comfortable with minus 30 degree weather! It’s best to shut yourself indoors and simply feast on multiple series of TV shows. Benefits of amazing broadband internet and endless amounts of top quality viewing content! Never a dull moment. Netflix and chill.

Source: Bob’s Burgers / Tumblr

12. The Social-Media Star

There is one from Pakistan, living in Canada – we shall not take his name – okay, fine – it’s none other than ZaidAliT, and he’s made his presence felt all the way from Canada, across the Atlantic Ocean, and in Pakistan. Love him or love to hate him, his online viral videos remind us the funny side of being a Pakistani, especially a Pakistani living abroad.

13. The Sneaky Dual-Citizen

The plan is simple. Enter Canada (or Australia / USA / anywhere). Invest in a small business, a condo, or a house. Spend 4 years (plus or minus a year). Attend the oath ceremony. Get the passport. File income taxes, maintain citizenship, and avail the Canadian (FREE) social services. SCHWING. And proudly return back to live in Pakistan. Dual-citizen. Mission accomplished.

Thanks for reading. Any other types? Share below!