Contrary to popular belief, being a socially awkward introvert isn’t a choice – you’re just cursed with it. Friendly social gatherings turn into nightmares. You dread your chachu’s beti’s shaadi a month before it takes place because you know you’ll have to interact with people – a gift that God conveniently forgot to bless you with. If you’re constantly struggling with the pain of being socially awkward, you’ll probably be able to relate to the following:
1. You dread receiving or sending messages
You keep your conversations to a minimum. It’s not that you hate talking to people – you just run out of things to say, eventually. Or you’re overcome by the crippling fear that you’re too boring.
2. Phone calls are a nightmare
You end up repeating things you’ve already said or are faced with prolonged silences which induce anxiety. More often than not, you tend to avoid calls altogether.
3. You do your best to avoid large gatherings
You don’t hate people – you just hate the idea of being around people, especially if there’s a large crowd. You end up ditching plans or, if you do go, you lurk around corners like a shady drug dealer.
4. You find a friend at a party and latch on for the rest of the night
On the rare occasion when you choose to venture out to a party, you tend to follow a single friend around the entire time. When that friend leaves to meet other friends, you turn to your phone to seek shelter.
5. Your family probably doesn’t get it
Trying to explain awkwardness to parents is like trying to manually peel off a toe nail without any form of anesthesia. It’s painful, frustrating and halfway through, you wonder why you even started in the first place. Plus, it usually ends with a fulfilling beizati by your ammi.
6. People don’t get it
If you try to explain your awkwardness to people, they’ll just give you the same repetitive reply:
‘Arey toh awkward honay ki kya zaroorat hai. Relax.’
Thanks. You just sorted out my entire life with that statement, I feel so much better.
7. Truth or dare? More like no
While your friends had their share of fun playing truth or dare, you sat out of most of the games because
a) you couldn’t dare to do shit
b) the truth was never up for discussion
8. You don’t understand how Facebook statuses exist
You can’t grasp the idea that people would actually want to tell other people about what’s happening in their lives, or where they ate out last. It’s just a completely alien concept.
9. You can’t ever decide which selfie you like (because you hate them all)
You aren’t exactly comfortable with the idea of having your face projected on people’s timelines or on Snapchat stories. People have got better things to look at, right?
10. You’re often torn between being brutally honest or lying through your teeth
Sometimes, when you’re asked for your opinion, you can’t decide if your camaraderie is strong enough to be brutally honest, or if you still need to lie to avoid conflict. Staying neutral is often your best bet.
11. You’re often in awe of people who exude confidence
You wonder how public speakers and extroverts exist. You’re in awe of the way they carry themselves without second guessing every move they make.
12. People mistake you for an asshole
Your silence and general avoidance is seen as you being an arrogant prick, which you’re not (hopefully). But it keeps people away, so you’re not exactly complaining.
13. Eating in front of people is a nightmare
You keep wondering if you have something between your teeth or if something’s smeared all over your mouth. It’s impossible to enjoy a meal when you think everyone’s staring at you while you eat.
14. Ordering or complaining about dishes is just not your thing
From the awkward hand gesture to catch your server’s eye to when and if your dish is not up to the mark – everything about eating outside the confines of your house is a painful task.
15. Your list of accomplishments looks something like this
16. Your awkwardness physically gets the best of you
You fear falling on your face or bumping into doors in public. Sometimes, you overthink it to the extent that it ends up happening anyway.
17. Hugs and handshakes? Not your forte
What starts as a friendly greeting slowly turns into a ridiculously hard puzzle. Hand shake, fist bump, hug – what are we going for here? Who knows.
18. Dating turns into a task
Due to your utter and complete lack of social skills, a large chunk of your conversation with your other half probably includes stuff like ‘are you bored of me yet’ or ‘are you breaking up with me because I forgot to say hi to your friends?’ Not to mention, PDA is just not your thing.
19. You get nervous when people stare at you for too long
You get a mini panic attack every time someone stares at you for more than three seconds. You can’t help but wonder if there’s something wrong with your face, clothes or existence
20. Seeing someone you know in public? Nope
You will try your best to avoid people you know if you’re out shopping or running errands. It’s just a lot easier if no one sees you.
21. Your room is your best friend
Your room is basically a safe haven – your happy place – where you can laze around all day in your night suit with no judgment whatsoever. It’s where you’re at peace and can truly be yourself without worrying about the world around you.
