Many Pakistanis tend to not believe in the concept of mental health.
For whatever reason, if they can’t see a physical manifestation of a disease, they will go out of their way to ignore its existence. Never mind the fact that there are glaring signs that are indicators of poor mental health – for most Pakistanis, yeh sab fazool baatein hain.
Also see: Here’s How Depression Is Ruining Pakistani Lives And What You Can Do About It
However, personal beliefs do not shape or define the existence of problems, especially mental plagues like depression. It is very real and an immensely serious issue that does not receive its due attention. Depression is a steep uphill battle that takes its toll on its victim in more ways than one.
Now, no one here is going to ask you to believe in it, though the science is all out there for any halfway intelligent individual to comprehend. However, maybe, just maybe, you could make a conscious effort to not make the lives of these poor individuals even harder.
Here’s a bunch of things that you should avoid saying to anyone suffering from depression:
1. Dramay mat karo
Contrary to popular belief, depression is not drama, it is an actual mental disorder that can mentally drain an individual. If they could trade places with you and watch you do this “drama,” they gladly would.
2. Other people have it worse
Yes, there are children starving in Africa and countries at the brink of war. This isn’t exactly new information to the sufferer as well. The war being waged in their minds, though, is what is killing them slowly. Don’t they deserve to look after themselves first, before they go change their DPs in support for Africa, Palestine or Syria?
3. Get over it
This single piece of advice is obviously what they needed. Congratulations, you cured their depression.
4. Mental health issues aren’t real problems
You know what isn’t real? Probably those shoes you’ve been bragging about. Maybe even your accent. And probably all your friends, if you say shit like this. Depression, though? Very real.
5. Bahanay mat banao
Depression isn’t a bahana. That’s like telling someone with a visible cold that they’re making shit up. No one wishes to have depression and no one with depression chooses to use it as an excuse, because it isn’t one.
6. You’re faking it for attention
Of all the things one could do to get attention, why would anyone want to go with the idea of curling up in a fetal position and sobbing their eyes out for hours, not having a proper sleeping or eating cycle and having suicidal thoughts?
7. I’ve never experienced it so it can’t be real
You’ve probably never experienced a lot of other things, like snowfall in Karachi or a visit to the beach in Lahore. Does that mean seas and snowfall aren’t real?
8. Pagal ho kya?
Having a mental disorder does not make one a pagal. Pakistanis need to get over this notion of considering all mental disorders to be synonymous with madness and looking down upon visits to therapists. That’s not how it works.
9. Stop worrying, you’ll be fine
They were waiting for you to tell them to stop worrying. Good job, your priceless pearls of wisdom changed their life.
10. Life is hard and unfair
Yeah, they know. They’re the ones suffering while you pass judgments. That’s twice the torture.
11. You’re just weak
You just told someone with a mental disorder that they’re weak. Does that make you feel stronger or better? Did it rejuvenate your decaying soul because you sucked the life out of theirs? Why is this even something that you feel the need to point out? Chances are, they’re a lot stronger than you due to their constant struggle of trying to sort out their life.
12. But kal toh bilkul sahi thay
Depression bata ke nahi hota. Mood swings are a part of the disorder. You would know that if you believed it exists and read up on it. It’s kind of like death, doesn’t come with a warning.
Now that you have a vague idea about how not to be a pain in the ass for someone who has depression, try to follow through with this. Depression is hard enough already. Your really do not need to make it worse.
Here’s How You Can Help If Someone Close To You Is Suffering From Poor Mental Health
This Is What It’s Like To Live With Someone Who Suffers From Bipolar Disorder In Pakistan
Editor’s Note: We aren’t medical professionals, just empathic people who are interested in positive conversations around mental health. If you feel you or someone around you is suffering from poor mental health, please seek professional help.
