Desi catcallers have long been the heroes in all the movies we’re grown up watching. While the discomfort on the faces of the women being catcalled is evident, our friendly neighborhood desi catcallers remain resilient in their misguided efforts to woo anything with a pulse.
Adjusting the crotch area of their tightly fitted jeans, or loosely held shalwars, our heroes stand in the corner of a bustling street.
They follow in the footsteps of the bhais they have long admired on the silver screen.
As they watch a woman pass, their mouths open, their vocal chords are set abuzz and a stream of discomfort-inducing words flows out of their mouths. Sounds pretty enthralling, doesn’t it?
Obviously, Pakistani women, too, are bowled over by these gentlemen. Because, how can they not be? These guys are legends in the making. Here’s everything Pakistani women absolutely adore about these intriguing figures of mystique:
Being ogled at while they walk down the street
Who doesn’t like being stared at relentlessly as they walk down the street, minding their own business? Women absolutely love being made to feel uncomfortable. Balke aur taaro.
Women constantly having to adjust their garments due to all the ogling
You know what the best part is about being ogled? Wondering if it’s your fault and, as a result, constantly tugging at your clothes to cover already fully clad parts of your body. Because being made to feel uncomfortable in your own skin is great.
Casual taanas by our heroes from the sidelines
Isn’t it super fun when you’re walking on the road, feeling super comfortable in your adorable jeans when someone leans in from behind on a bike or otherwise and tells you to dress appropriately? Good times. No, wait. Great times.
Being referred to as ‘patakhas’
Yass, call out to random women you don’t know and objectify them. Women love it. Why wouldn’t they? Being called a patakha instead of your actual name is great. Especially by a strange man you don’t know.
When desi catcallers refer to Pakistani women and girls as ‘maal,’ ‘taghra piece’ and ‘tait piece’
You know what’s better than being called patakha? Being called something that’s potentially more offensive and takes the objectification scene up a notch.
Desi catcallers ka irresistible charm is a crowd favorite
How do you not get wooed by their undying efforts to make you want to walk faster with your head ducked and by the embarrassment that is caused as a result of catcalling? It’s irresistible.
Whistling makes women go crazy. Matlab next level
We’ve seen it in all the movies. Seeti maaro aur larki ko pata lo. Because fuck decency.
That thing catcallers do where they follow women? Best hai
Because security is extremely overrated.
The whole getting mad when being confronted? Really great.
Ever tried confronting a desi catcaller and watched him get mad? You know when he loses his shit and, in turn, tries to police you into “being more decent.” Best hai. Oh, and when they scurry off when you start getting mad? Priceless.
Just the entire experience, honestly
What is there to dislike about the entire experience? You’re made to feel like crap, you feel threatened and may develop a fear of leaving the house afterward. Sounds pretty great.
For those who failed to comprehend the underlying sarcasm – please know that catcalling is vile and it doesn’t establish superiority in any way whatsoever. In that moment, you take away someone’s sense of security and replace it with fear and discomfort.
You make someone feel less safe and more on edge. You basically tamper with their personal space, physically and mentally. Pakistani women are catcalled every single day and we hear about incidents on a daily basis.
The fact that it’s been normalized to the extent where we tell women ke kuch nahi hota, yeh toh hota rehta hai, is absolutely absurd. It’s high time that we started viewing catcalling as the invasion of personal space that it truly is, and start holding people accountable. Because, honestly, and let’s just agree on this: aisay nahi chal sakta.
