Any act that intends to control and overpower a person by humiliating, inducing fear in them or verbally or physically attacking them is abuse. The hallmark feature of emotional abuse is that it does not have any visible bruises or scars, so it is extremely hard for not only the people around the abused person to identify that they are being abused, sometimes the person themselves doesn’t realize it.
Several psychological studies have stated that verbally abusing someone, constantly criticizing them and very cleverly intimidating them and refusing to ever be pleased with them no matter what they do, manipulating, shaming and bullying them in a way that is not too obvious. Rejecting, degrading, devaluing, terrorizing, isolating, corrupting, exploiting, denying emotional responsiveness or availability, and unreliable or inconsistent treatment all are forms of emotional abuse.
The abuser sometimes does all this due to their own unresolved insecurities and childhood disturbances that are manifesting in their behavior and adulthood.
The common belief might be that only men emotionally abuse women in relationships
But research done in 2005 showed that “men and women physically and emotionally abuse each other at equal rates.” It can happen in any relationship such as between parent and child, between friends, spouses and significant others.
Here are a few signs of emotional abuse that everyone should watch out for:
1. They constantly criticize or belittle you
2. They often yell at you, insult and humiliate you in front of others
3. They get angrier if you talk back or try to defend yourself
4. When you are upset due to their abusive behavior, they accuse you of being “too sensitive”
5. They undervalue your achievements, your goals and ambitions
6. They prevent you from going out and socializing
You feel like you need to ask for their permission before making extremely small decisions or when you need to go somewhere out, even if it’s with your own family.
7. They regularly remind you of your flaws, the mistakes you have done in the past, or your shortcomings
8. They withhold affection to control you
9. They blame you for life difficulties and problems
Sometimes you don’t understand how they are even linked to you but you blame yourself because that’s what your abuser says.
10. They often use threats of leaving the relationship in order to make you do something
11. They view you as an extension of themselves rather than as an individual
12. They blame you for their bad behavior
“Aaj tumhari waja se dost se lar ke aya hoon”
“Tum baar baar kehte ho mujhe isilye Ayesha se aaj mein dosti tor ayi hun”
13. They monitor every single move you make
They demand the access to all your social networking websites, apps and your calls and texts.
14. They are overly jealous and suspicious of you
15. They punish you for small mistakes by abandoning or neglecting you
16. And then come back to you wanting to start again when they miss you in their own sweet time
17. They often blame you for things that you haven’t even done, or which aren’t even true
Be careful, be vigilant. If you love yourself, you need to protect yourself.
