Your first day at a new job is pretty much like your first day at a new school. Awkward and uncomfortable. You continue to have mixed feelings the entire first day, you love it and you hate it the next second and then you love it and then hate it again.
Here’s what everyone goes through on the first day at a new job. Also it’s totally cool to be awkward. Don’t let that bring you down.
It starts off with you showing up early for work, dressed for success
Only to realize that other caffeine deprived bodies start strolling in an hour or a half later
It’s your first day so you get a lot of unsolicited attention
Your fellow inhabitants smile and greet you with apparent warmth
While secretly judging the fuck out of you
But that’s okay because you are doing the same
You forget their names the moment they introduce themselves
You feign excitement and smile a lot to pull off some semblance of normality
You repeat your life story to your mildly curious colleagues
You pretend to be doing something important on your phone when you don’t know what else to do/say
You ask for chai/coffee but it never comes because you haven’t gone through the cult initiation yet
You notice how everyone is busy working and you have no clue what to do
You awkwardly try adjusting at your new workstation
Only to end up having the most uncomfortable chair that everyone else refused to rest their butts and backs on
But you suck it up and religiously log on to Facebook and open a tab for Gmail
You feel silly for asking questions like ‘where’s the bathroom?’ and ‘where are the pens?’
Lunchtime arrives and you remember all the times you took lunchtime for granted
You wonder if it is okay to eat at your desk
You mentally debate skipping lunch but your rumbling tummy has other plans
So you eat as sophisticatedly as you can, not at all like the pizza gobbling the night before
There are times when you develop super-hearing and moments where you zone out
Its almost time to leave and a wave of relief washes over you
You think about how to announce your departure; inform, ask or just leave?
You realize the oxygen sharers in the room aren’t that bad, you make acquaintances
And live to survive another day!
