Editor ki darkhwast: This article is a piece of satire and should be taken as such.
The organization for male empowerment, Restoration of Undermined Men of Pakistan (RUMP), recently held a sit in outside the mini golf park in Lahore. Their protest was, interestingly enough, for equality and it was aimed at women.
The chairperson of RUMP has set forth some clear demands regarding the need for society to empower men
He said, “we live a society where a man is assumed to be the breadwinner of the family, and the woman is assumed to be the housewife. They have the option to just complete their undergrad and that’s it, even that’s not needed in many cases, and off they go get married to some rich guy. We want to be married to rich wives too, who earn for us while we laze around in the house. Why can’t we handle the kitchen? Why don’t we get paternity leaves?”
Other men, part of the demonstration, praised RUMP and shared their own tales of problems they face in the Pakistani society.
One young university kid had a problem with the ‘no stags policy’ at underground parties and public gatherings. He said, “why can dance parties or concerts have two girls walk in but not two guys?”
“I see my female friends being showered with gifts and taken to dinners without paying a dime for any thing by their male fellows, why can’t I get any free meals from girls? Give us our free meals! We simply can’t pay all the time and our ego is too big to accept it!”
Another one wasn’t happy about the discrimination the social media encompasses against men. He wasn’t too happy that some girls he knew got dozen of likes for just posting a blurry picture in the bathroom while he, a professional photographer, couldn’t even get more than 2 likes for his beautiful shot of Hunza valley.
They wanted the people to look beyond the multitude of rape cases and domestic violence.
“If you look deep inside, like really deep, we are nice but nobody wants to look that deep. Plus, if I see a moving female, in most cases I simply cannot help but to whistle or howl at her because I have to appreciate nature’s beauty – We are built like that”, said Nixar Shady(pronounced Nisar Shady), the co-chairperson of RUMP.
While talking to our reporter Aam Nawab, he further elaborated, “we already represent the vast majority of Pakistan here but we need to do more. We have boys who have been unfairly friend-zoned and want the same opportunity to friend-zone their female counterparts. In the end we’re not saying we are superior to women or they are superior to us, all we’re asking for is equality, we even accept Zahra Haider, she can have all the pre-marital sex or post-marital one she wants, as long as it is with us we won’t judge”.
The campaign has also been endorsed by anti-male discrimination activist Umnia Shahid
Umnia, who’s known for her Kardashian fandom and recent RUMP friendly open letter to feminists spoke to our reporter. “They say around 5 women get abused every hour in Pakistan in some way everyday, but we’re a population of 182 million people. That is not such a big number to cry on, according to my math, and I got 89% in my O-Level Mathematics exam”.
RUMP activists have asked the Punjab Government to introduce a Men’s Protection Bill in the Assembly
According to the representatives of the organization, this is their agenda for the year 2016 and they will make sure men in Pakistan are given more opportunities to voice their concerns.
“We don’t even get periods, we need to be treated better because we aren’t hormonal every month”, said one activist, “We need Men’s Rights!”
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