Your first day at a new job is pretty much like your first day at a new school. Awkward and uncomfortable. You continue to have mixed feelings the entire first day, you love it and you hate it the next second and then you love it and then hate it again.

Here’s what everyone goes through on the first day at a new job. Also it’s totally cool to be awkward. Don’t let that bring you down.

 

It starts off with you showing up early for work, dressed for success

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Only to realize that other caffeine deprived bodies start strolling in an hour or a half later

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It’s your first day so you get a lot of unsolicited attention

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Your fellow inhabitants smile and greet you with apparent warmth

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While secretly judging the fuck out of you

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But that’s okay because you are doing the same

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You forget their names the moment they introduce themselves

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You feign excitement and smile a lot to pull off some semblance of normality

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You repeat your life story to your mildly curious colleagues

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You pretend to be doing something important on your phone when you don’t know what else to do/say

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You ask for chai/coffee but it never comes because you haven’t gone through the cult initiation yet

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You notice how everyone is busy working and you have no clue what to do

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You awkwardly try adjusting at your new workstation

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Only to end up having the most uncomfortable chair that everyone else refused to rest their butts and backs on

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But you suck it up and religiously log on to Facebook and open a tab for Gmail

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You feel silly for asking questions like ‘where’s the bathroom?’ and ‘where are the pens?’

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Lunchtime arrives and you remember all the times you took lunchtime for granted

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You wonder if it is okay to eat at your desk

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You mentally debate skipping lunch but your rumbling tummy has other plans

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So you eat as sophisticatedly as you can, not at all like the pizza gobbling the night before

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There are times when you develop super-hearing and moments where you zone out

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Its almost time to leave and a wave of relief washes over you

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You think about how to announce your departure; inform, ask or just leave?

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You realize the oxygen sharers in the room aren’t that bad, you make acquaintances

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And live to survive another day!

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